About Claire L. Wasmund

Claire is a Midwest raised published writer and producer with a background in theater and literature. Claire is based in Los Angeles where she graduated from The New York Film Academy's one year screenwriting program. Most recently she produced the indepenent feature filmTHE GROVER COMPLEX, written by and starring Fernando Noor. She's the writer of the student thesis feature JEFFERSON, directed by Karen Bullis, and the creator and producer of the award-winning web-series DELAYED TEEN ANGST.

Sunday, February 24, 2008

What have I done?!

I've so often been told that my turtle, Umberlee, seems lonely in her tank… alone. I think people assume too much.

Finally though, after realizing that her tank had not been cleaned in some time, I journeyed to Petco to buy her a new filter, new gravel, a new fake plastic plant, a decorative rock, and THREE GOLDFISH.

I walked around the shop looking at fish. There were fish with big, bulging eyes; sword-like tails; vacuum cleaner mouths; calico scales; all sorts of fabulous little creatures. I decided on the 26 cent goldfish. Something told me that this was a good price. I asked for three big goldfish, ones that looked sturdy and strong of heart. I got them.

After putting Umberlee into the sink and avoiding her threatening little beak I made her tank beautiful. The new gravel is white and it looks very nice with the bright green and blue rocks already in the tank. The decorative rock and new plastic plant were also a nice touch. I put Umberlee back in and introduced her friends. There were no formal introductions. They all swam around... in harmony.

I went to clean my room. I came back an hour later to find one goldfish gone. "How did this fish jump out of a covered tank?" I wondered aloud to myself. I looked for its little corpse but could not find it. That's when I first suspected. Umberlee watched me, looking bloated, looking smug.

I reasoned with myself, "Those fish were quite large, she cannot possibly eat another, and the weakest one is out of the way."

I left and went to do laundry as it was a Sunday.

When I returned I fell to my knees… there was only one left.

"What the hell is your problem?" I screamed at the turtle.

"I'm omnivorous." She mouthed to me through the glass.

I looked at the last fish, I felt happy that goldfish only have memories of three seconds, no one needs to relive what that fish saw.

"You're a fighter," I told the fish, "there is a reason you are the last one left. You will grow to be strong."

I went to the store.

There are no fish left. No trace. They left no mark. The filter likely removed any flesh or scales that once belonged to them.

Life has a memory of three seconds.

What will I do with this goldfish food?


Tuesday, February 19, 2008

The Latest

I have hit the quarter century mark. I hit it gently. I’m closer to 22... Still… really… yes.

Mia’s birthday was a few days before mine and we all went bowling to celebrate both. It was atomic bowling, glow-in-the-dark balls and shoes. Rock music. It was a fun time. I bowled terribly. I haven’t been bowling in such a while. I used to hurl that ball rather well so that pins looked at me with mild irritation, this time they couldn’t get a read on my manic attacks.

Mia can now drink legally, she wasn’t super excited about the big 21, the cultural backwardness of Sweden has ruined this moment, or maybe the conservatism of America?

No, it’s not our fault.

Mike bowled passably until he and Fernando were hit on by a gay man near a bar. This ruined Mike’s mojo and there was no hope of recovery after this. I’m sure Mike left the alley with the express purpose of finding some hot chick.

Life is still good. My friends and I are working hard on projects and still making a go of it here in L.A. We manage, we do well. We’re still here because I believe we are meant to be.
Ah, and so, several weekends ago, we shot all six webisodes at a breakneck pace with a two person crew. The plan originally was to shoot three but we finished the three on the first day and had the equipment out for another. We figured, “Why the hell not?” and so we asked our actors to memorize the three last episodes overnight.
Karen handled the camera, lighting, shots… everything but sound which I did. I held the boom. It was quite fun. My arms hurt, Karen’s arms hurt, Fernando, Amy and Tristan were all exhausted… but we’re done! …Until we get the funding for moreJ Positive thoughts, friends.
The casting truly was perfect. They had an understanding of their characters and delivered their lines like a dream. What more could one ask for?
Karen continues to plug away at editing and the website. My cousin Robert and brother Matt are hopefully providing us with some music, making this a well produced and fun little series.
I will let everyone know when it is up.
Now I’m working on a feature film for Karen. It’s Karen’s idea and story. I am racing to finish a draft by the end of this week, It will be fabulous to have participated in a feature! Fernando will once again be a member of the cast. What is a Claire written project without Fernie? I’ll keep people updated on this too. We begin filming at the end of February!!!
We had the screenwriting class over a few weekends ago. It was nice to see Mia, Chad, Edwin, Fernando and Mike again. We laughed, had some treats, had some drinks, and told old stories. Everyone seems to be doing very well and that is good to see.
Things are pretty fun right now, albeit busy with working about 60 hours a week and writing in my spare time… but it will all pay off. I’m feeling pretty confident that things will pay off.

More battles with sincerity

Fight on.

Sincerity is boring and there are more creative ways to say something without actually, completely saying it.

Do not limit me.

About Me

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Hey, it's Claire! I'm a writer and producer in Los Angeles. This blog sort of straddles professional and personal. You can check out my current projects "The Grover Complex" and "Delayed Teen Angst". Both projects have blogs and sites linked to this page. Have questions? Email me at Wazikaze at gmail.com


Darling Spiffy